12 Steps to Emotional Sobriety

The 12 Steps to Emotional Sobriety for Adult Children

Some members feel that these revised steps better reflect the ACA Problem and Solution.

1. We admitted we were powerless over the effects of alcoholism or other family dysfunction – that our lives had become unmanageable.
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2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to our true selves.
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3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the loving guidance of God, as we came to understand God, learning to love ourselves with compassion.

4. Made a thorough inventory of life long defences and survival traits employed by our parents and ourselves so we could understand the multigenerational nature of our post trauma condition.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to an informed other the exact nature of our childhood abuse and neglect, including PTSD and unresolved grief.

6. Allowed ourselves to be vulnerable under safe conditions so that our Higher Power could heal the broken heart of our inner child.

7. Humbly asked our Higher Power to assist us with our healing process as we learn to talk, trust, and feel all of our feelings.

8. Made lists of those we harmed and those who harmed us, and became willing to forgive ourselves while praying for others.

9. Worked to repair the damage in our relationships except when to do so would expose us to unsafe people and situations, or cause harm to others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and to reparent ourselves with unconditional love.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to develop our conscious contact with our Higher Power, praying for clarity, inner peace and emotional sobriety.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried with humility to carry this healing message to the still suffering adult child, and practice these principles in all of our relationships.

Note: "The 12 Steps to Emotional Sobriety for Adult Children" were written in the language and concepts contained in the Big Red Book to more accurately address internal addiction of Adult Children, caused by neglect and abuse, typically resulting in some degree of developmental, relational or situational PTSD and unresolved grief. These Steps better reflect the ACA Problem and Solution, harmonize existing ACA steps in use, and are a pathway up and out of the post trauma pre-occuption, leading adult children to emotional sobriety and healthier relationships with self, God and others. - Mike S.

Disclaimer: "The 12 Steps to Emotional Sobriety for Adult Children" have been reviewed by the AA World Service, Inc. Intellectual Property Administrator. They have indicated there are no issues of copyright infringement with the original steps, and they have no objection to the use of these steps in the event they are implemented for ACA recovery. "Your adaptation of the steps represents a sufficient alternative of the original." – AA World Services, Inc. 10-4-2017